what happened..?
we used to laugh and have some fun,
we used to be there for each other.
we'd never run out of things to say,
we'd make time to talk every day.

that's all changed now,
whether i like it or not.
we're holding back thoughts,
not saying what needs to be said,
not being there in a time of need,
not talking half as much.

you say you need to be alone,
that you can't deal with me.
it hurts me when it's said that way,
i don't know what to do.

these past four years we've changed and grown
and maybe it was apart,
but there's really no way it can be said
to my previously crushed heart.

all the things that we've been through
and all the times we've shared
flashed brightly through my memory
as i read those words...

as i read those words
i had to hold back tears.
you say you still want to be friends,
but what you said before contradicts
all the statements and promises
we've ever made to each other.
i'll be there, i'll always care,
you'll always be my sister.

right now, i've got so much to say,
though not yet do i know quite how.
honestly, i never saw that this
friendship was even breaking down.
it seems so sudden and untrue
not to have you there
the way it's always been.

we rarely talk, nor have any fun,
we're drifting further apart,
there's less and less for us to say,
and more often, we can't talk.

Monday, Nov. 25, 2002 - 4:00 pm

Heart Shaped Box

Last Five
to know you - Sunday, May 01, 2005
..? - Sunday, Apr. 03, 2005
something's gotta give. - Wednesday, Jul. 28, 2004
taken away - Thursday, Feb. 05, 2004
what is love? - Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2004

Buddies
%%buddy_list%%

Playlist
+ wind's nocturne from lunar: the silver star story
+ heart shaped box // evanescence
+ valentine // martina mcbride
+ don't stop dancing // creed
+ screaming infidelities // dashboard confessional
+ you were mine // dixie chicks
+ slow down // ben jelen
+ dare you to move // switchfoot
+ fukai mori // do as infinity
+ breathe no more // evanescence
+ gravity of love // enigma
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Diaryland

Girl
landa; eighteen; lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
Loves
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.

Hates
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.