only a friend
the best it's been since who knows when,
things just seem too right.
no sad or depressing thoughts, recieving all that had been saught,
missing the warning light.

i'll never leave, i won't decieve
i'll always be there.

before the eyes, it turns to lies,
she doesn't seem to care.

your chest tightens, sences heightened,
you know something's awry.
she deals the blow straight to your soul
draining your insides dry.

nothingness the only feeling as your mind is slowly dealing
with the words that she just said.
your sister no more, your foot caught in door
as she degrades you to a friend.

before that word there is no best, your heart and soul put to a test,
can she be just your friend?
you start to cry and realize
your insides all feel dead.

she helped you through when no one knew
your name or who you were.
inside your mind she's still kind
to do those things, you're sure.

while it's there in black and white you hope that in some way there might
be ways for this to be unsaid.
as her mind wanders, yours still ponders
before you know it you're in bed.

you lay on your back in there, giving the ceiling quite a stare
did she really mean it?
mem'ries flood, your brain is mud,
why it happened, you don't get.

you go to sleep but in mind keep
tomorrow is a different day.
maybe she'll listen to what she's now missin'
...or refuse to hear what you may say.

Wednesday, Feb. 12, 2003 - 9:17 am

Heart Shaped Box

Last Five
to know you - Sunday, May 01, 2005
..? - Sunday, Apr. 03, 2005
something's gotta give. - Wednesday, Jul. 28, 2004
taken away - Thursday, Feb. 05, 2004
what is love? - Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2004

Buddies
%%buddy_list%%

Playlist
+ wind's nocturne from lunar: the silver star story
+ heart shaped box // evanescence
+ valentine // martina mcbride
+ don't stop dancing // creed
+ screaming infidelities // dashboard confessional
+ you were mine // dixie chicks
+ slow down // ben jelen
+ dare you to move // switchfoot
+ fukai mori // do as infinity
+ breathe no more // evanescence
+ gravity of love // enigma
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Diaryland

Girl
landa; eighteen; lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
Loves
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.

Hates
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.