here alone
i sit here alone and wonder
are they having fun?
are they having the time of their lives,
enjoying the fact that
i'm not there?

i sit here alone and cry
trying to keep my sanity,
trying to keep myself from doing what
i know i will regret
should it happen.

i sit here alone and try
to convince myself it's okay,
to convince myself they didn't think
i'd hurt
as much as i do now.

i sit here alone and seethe
in the anger that i feel,
in the loneliness that consumes my
heart, my soul,
my being.

i sit here alone and wish
that i had someone here right now,
that i had someone near to tell me
that everything
will be alright.

i sit here alone and write
about the pain i'm going through,
about the things these people put me through
as if i dont feel,
as if i don't hurt.

Saturday, Apr. 19, 2003 - 8:39 pm

Heart Shaped Box

Last Five
to know you - Sunday, May 01, 2005
..? - Sunday, Apr. 03, 2005
something's gotta give. - Wednesday, Jul. 28, 2004
taken away - Thursday, Feb. 05, 2004
what is love? - Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2004

Buddies
%%buddy_list%%

Playlist
+ wind's nocturne from lunar: the silver star story
+ heart shaped box // evanescence
+ valentine // martina mcbride
+ don't stop dancing // creed
+ screaming infidelities // dashboard confessional
+ you were mine // dixie chicks
+ slow down // ben jelen
+ dare you to move // switchfoot
+ fukai mori // do as infinity
+ breathe no more // evanescence
+ gravity of love // enigma
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Diaryland

Girl
landa; eighteen; lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
Loves
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.

Hates
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.