the actress
i really haven't been able to write other than diary entries lately, so i'm going to start posting some poems from before i had this or my diary... or ones that never made it into my diary.

she gets ready for her next big scene,
the stage is set, she reemmbers her lines.
she hears action! and goes to her place,
she turns to her best friend.

i'm feeling fine, don't worry,
if something happens, i'll let you know.

the scene comes to an end,
she makes an exit, stage left.

the next scene is about to begin.
she lays alone in her room.
this time, there's no direction,
she just starts on what she feels.

crying in her pillow, wondering why
everything is so wrong in her live.
mom knocks, she wipes her eyes,
and pretends that nothing's wrong.

after mom leaves, she reaches for a drawer,
pulls it open, and there it is.
the easiest way out that there could be,
a way out of this hell.

thirty minutes later, thirty pills less -
she's written her final goodbyes.
as she cries, she loses her strength,
the world loses another great actress.
- november 25th, 2001

Tuesday, Jul. 15, 2003 - 4:47 pm

Heart Shaped Box

Last Five
to know you - Sunday, May 01, 2005
..? - Sunday, Apr. 03, 2005
something's gotta give. - Wednesday, Jul. 28, 2004
taken away - Thursday, Feb. 05, 2004
what is love? - Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2004

Buddies
%%buddy_list%%

Playlist
+ wind's nocturne from lunar: the silver star story
+ heart shaped box // evanescence
+ valentine // martina mcbride
+ don't stop dancing // creed
+ screaming infidelities // dashboard confessional
+ you were mine // dixie chicks
+ slow down // ben jelen
+ dare you to move // switchfoot
+ fukai mori // do as infinity
+ breathe no more // evanescence
+ gravity of love // enigma
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Girl
landa; eighteen; lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
Loves
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.

Hates
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.