is it real?
sitting up at night doing
nothing but laying here and
thinking back to the talk we had
but a few hours before.

it was
the first time i talked to you.
it was
the first time i'd even met you.
it was
the first time i'd just felt free.
it was
something that just felt totally right

in a habitat gone awry
in recent days
in different ways.

now i
long to talk to you once more.
now i
long for the touch i've yet to feel.
now i
long to look into unknown eyes.
now i
wonder if this intuition is right

in directing me to you and in
opening my soul up for more wounds
and exposing myself to one unknown
by me or anyone else i know.

i wish
i knew if this were for real.
i wish
i knew what this is i feel.
i wish
i knew what to do right now.
i wish
there were some way to let you know

how much i seem to want to
talk to you, be with you,
to do anything with you.

sitting up at night doing
nothing but laying here and
thinking back to the talk we had
but a few hours before,

i wonder
what it was that brought us there.
i wonder
what it was that made me say hi.
i wonder
what it was that kept me there.
i wonder
if you're feeling any of what i'm

feeling right now, wondering what
to do about this, or if there's even
a this as of right now, 'cause i'm
definately uncertain.

so here i sit having no sleep just
sitting up here, thinking of you and
wondering what the hell i should do and
whether or not you're worh all of this.

...are you thinking of me too?

Tuesday, Jul. 22, 2003 - 7:39 am

Heart Shaped Box

Last Five
to know you - Sunday, May 01, 2005
..? - Sunday, Apr. 03, 2005
something's gotta give. - Wednesday, Jul. 28, 2004
taken away - Thursday, Feb. 05, 2004
what is love? - Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2004

Buddies
%%buddy_list%%

Playlist
+ wind's nocturne from lunar: the silver star story
+ heart shaped box // evanescence
+ valentine // martina mcbride
+ don't stop dancing // creed
+ screaming infidelities // dashboard confessional
+ you were mine // dixie chicks
+ slow down // ben jelen
+ dare you to move // switchfoot
+ fukai mori // do as infinity
+ breathe no more // evanescence
+ gravity of love // enigma
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Diaryland

Girl
landa; eighteen; lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
Loves
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.

Hates
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.