everything
everything's so damn confusing,
there's no way to tell up from down,
i keep remembering what happened and
part of me panics, the rest stays calm
i want you here ot comfort me but we
both know right now that can't
happen, so here i sit with my
graphite and slices of trees that have
the opportunity to be the first to read
these scribbles which keep flowing
from my head and hand.
you tell me everything will be okay but
for some reason it's hard to believe -
maybe because i was so hurt or
maybe because this is the most
serisous thing to happen to me, to us,
in such a long time that i don't
remember how to deal with it all,
though this time is much different
than any other thing i've been through
in the recent and distant past but
i want to believe you so badly.
first confusion, then panic, dillusion,
deep talks, emotion, more panic, frustration,
illusion and worry, fear and dread,
wonderment, bewilderment, unfulfillment,
wondering whether this is true or if it's not,
role switching, confusing, complicating,
juxtaposition, metaphors, comparisons,
confusion again rears its ugly head,
a mix of emotion sends my head spinning
trying to understand what's happening and
what i can do to help and to cope.
Sunday, Aug. 03, 2003 - 2:22 pm