something's gotta give.
why is it that it's after two thirty in the morning and i'm still carrying my cell phone around as if it might ring?
why is it that the entirety of my neck hurts?
why is it that things seem to fall apart all together, yet feel so very comfortable whilst doing so?
why is it that i can stay up forever reading and listening to music the way that i used to?
why is it that the people that you think you care about the most seem to be the ones who can cut you the deepest?
why is it that i've been unable to write during the daylight hours, but i feel as though i can go on forever at night?
why is it that you can hear a song that you haven't heard in at least a year, but once the first few chords work their way through you it feels as though you've been transported back to an exact moment in your memory?
why is it that a song can perfectly describe everything that has been happening in life for a time?
why is it that the key moments in one's life never really happen the way you'd wished they would?
why is it that saying all of this is making me want to cry, or at least go in my room and actually go to sleep?
just like everything else here... all i can do is suck it up and learn to live with it.
but something's gotta give somewhere.
anywhere.

Wednesday, Jul. 28, 2004 - 4:24 pm

Heart Shaped Box

Last Five
untitled - Monday, Sept. 26, 2005
addiction - Monday, Aug. 22, 2005
the storm - Friday, Jun. 10, 2005
to know you - Sunday, May 01, 2005
..? - Sunday, Apr. 03, 2005

Buddies
%%buddy_list%%

Playlist
+ wind's nocturne from lunar: the silver star story
+ heart shaped box // evanescence
+ valentine // martina mcbride
+ don't stop dancing // creed
+ screaming infidelities // dashboard confessional
+ you were mine // dixie chicks
+ slow down // ben jelen
+ dare you to move // switchfoot
+ fukai mori // do as infinity
+ breathe no more // evanescence
+ gravity of love // enigma
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Diaryland

Girl
landa; eighteen; lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
Loves
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.

Hates
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.