to know you
to know you is to love you
and i've known you for
.s.o..l.o.n.g.
it hurts.
and knowing me is to know
a friend
.n.o..m.o.r.e.
.n.o..l.e.s.s.
it burns...
and i bleed
and i breathe
and i try
to keep on
with some semblance
of my life
.b.e.f.o.r.e..m.y..l.o.v.e.
unrequitted
...as if i could
remember it
before there was a
you.

and then i realize,
you're a
part of me
that i
just....can't.... .l.e.t....g.o....
and push it down
and try to drown
the normal thoughts
and hopes
and wishes
for something more,
while living with
something less
than what i
dreamed
would be.

Sunday, May 01, 2005 - 11:38 pm

Heart Shaped Box

Last Five
thusly untitled. - Wednesday, Apr. 04, 2007
i wish for you - Friday, Nov. 25, 2005
untitled - Monday, Sept. 26, 2005
addiction - Monday, Aug. 22, 2005
the storm - Friday, Jun. 10, 2005

Buddies
%%buddy_list%%

Playlist
+ wind's nocturne from lunar: the silver star story
+ heart shaped box // evanescence
+ valentine // martina mcbride
+ don't stop dancing // creed
+ screaming infidelities // dashboard confessional
+ you were mine // dixie chicks
+ slow down // ben jelen
+ dare you to move // switchfoot
+ fukai mori // do as infinity
+ breathe no more // evanescence
+ gravity of love // enigma
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Diaryland

Girl
landa; eighteen; lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
Loves
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.

Hates
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.