addiction
i kiss my cigarette and wish it were you
with that much longer to breathe you in,
that much longer to hold you again,
that much longer to learn to let go.

i wish it were you as my current addiction,
though i suppose you are if i'm writing,
but i wish it were something more, something different,
that i had known your touch to begin with,
those kisses that must be so sweet,
that warmth to hold close to me.

staring down at the nineteen that remain,
nineteen more times i can dream, i can wish,
i can pretend that it's you, and not a filter
that i am missing and reaching for.

Monday, Aug. 22, 2005 - 4:15 pm

Heart Shaped Box

Last Five
thusly untitled. - Wednesday, Apr. 04, 2007
i wish for you - Friday, Nov. 25, 2005
untitled - Monday, Sept. 26, 2005
addiction - Monday, Aug. 22, 2005
the storm - Friday, Jun. 10, 2005

Buddies
%%buddy_list%%

Playlist
+ wind's nocturne from lunar: the silver star story
+ heart shaped box // evanescence
+ valentine // martina mcbride
+ don't stop dancing // creed
+ screaming infidelities // dashboard confessional
+ you were mine // dixie chicks
+ slow down // ben jelen
+ dare you to move // switchfoot
+ fukai mori // do as infinity
+ breathe no more // evanescence
+ gravity of love // enigma
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Girl
landa; eighteen; lesbian; kansas city; kansas; live with my daddy; baby named sango; kid named storm; crochity old lady kiddy; generally here hanging out or somewhere else with elsbe; love music; college freshman; undecided major.
Loves
elsbe; evanescence; inuyasha; rachel; cauterize; dashboard; daddy; sango; kiddy; music in general; gamecube; online games; block breaker on the cell; ashley; kristen; sai; mika; sheryl crow; katie holmes; women of substance; gravitation; what few friends i have; slight thunderstorms; cool rain on my skin in the summer; the feeling of falling in love.

Hates
boys who will never be men; men who will never be boys; homophobia; closed-mindedness; the feeling of falling away from love; seeing someone walk away; reaching for air; losing what little friends i have; fighting with someone; feeling like a mooch; severe thunderstorms; losing touch; feeling alone; living alone; always being wrong; crying.